I had plans to go see a movie with this guy I really liked. A couple of hours go by, and he tells me that he’ll pick me up soon to go. The movie started an hour ago. So, here I am, writing this in my bed. I thought he was so into me but was he really? I mean I couldn’t even get a text back. Not even a simple text to let me know he couldn’t make it.

My friends would tell me, “Gabi, if he really wanted to, he would.” I could then reply to them with all the excuses I want. He didn’t want to hang out this week because his family is here. He hasn’t taken me on a real date but that’s fine because I like watching movies. He didn’t text me back because he didn’t have his phone. Maybe the excuses are legitimate, but at the end of the day, if he wanted to do any of these things or if he really wanted to see me, he would put in the effort and the time to do so. Thanks for the wakeup call guys. Back to reality Gab. Tough. Love.

I think it’s time to think about this differently:

Incorrect: He’s not paying attention to me. We haven’t hung out in weeks. Ugh, he doesn’t like me.

Correct: This is not the type of man that I am looking for and that’s perfectly okay. I will find someone that I click with.

You have to think about these situations with one question: What do I want? Think of yourself first and how situations will benefit you. At the end of the day, if there are values you wish to see in a man that are not present, you are not going to teach that person and that’s okay. He’s not the right person for you. You will find someone that is willing to give that to you and you won’t have to ask for it.

This process is about empowerment –  it helps you to identify your needs and make conscious and informed decisions. It teaches you the importance of not settling for less than what you deserve. And when you are clear with yourself about your intentions and desires, you are less likely to feel so conflicted later.

Don’t fool yourself into buying into the excuses. You should receive the attention that you deserve. Of course, life can get busy. That’s understandable. However, when you start to question yourself as not being a priority, that’s an enormous red flag. You aren’t just something to do or a last-minute Friday night plan. No one should make you feel that way. The right person would put in the effort to make you feel special. Someone will come along and prove to you that you are a priority, and you’ll never have to doubt your worth with that person.

I would’ve appreciated a casual dinner and a nice early movie. He could have texted an hour before to confirm and picked me up. This boy is not the one for me and that’s okay. I deserve to be a priority.